Yesterday was my dads birthday. I called him in the morning to say Happy Birthday and he invited me to lunch. My sister and and nephew came as well as my dad's girlfriend.
For some reason I felt so disconnected with the whole situation. I looked at my dad and thought, who is this person? He is certainly not the man I grew up with. He's just so different in so many ways its too hard to put my finger on just one. Obviously not having my mom around has something to do with it. I do know his girlfriend changed him a lot.
He says to me "What are you doing for Alexandra's birthday?"
I was mostly shocked because I don't think I've ever heard him utter her name before. Why? I don't know, possibly because he didn't remember? Possibly because he just doesn't like it. I don't know. I do know that he thinks its Alexandria though. How sad is that? My own father doesn't know how to spell my daughters name? It's not like its anything different like Balmooloot or something. Oh and on top of that I know he doesn't know my last name. Yep that's right my dad hasn't got a clue, what my last name is. I know this because he had his girlfriend call me some months ago to ask me what it was as he was filling out his will.
My I normally see my father once a week, which is more than some see their parents. We meet for breakfast. Any interaction he gets with my daughter is just for the 30 minutes we eat, then he's gone. If I were to invite him over, he wouldn't come. Too busy, serving papers, or got something going on. Then why don't I go over? Well cause they're too busy, and then I'd have to listen to his girlfriend talk non stop in her holier than thou tone. I know part of why I feel so disconnected is because I just can't stand her. My own problem not his.