Friday, May 18, 2007

These are the moments

It's moments like these that make me realize just how much I love her. I could not possibly love another human being more than I love my dear sweet daughter.

Coming home from work for lunch. She stand in her walker in the kitchen. As I open the door and she sees me her arms go up and she moves quickly toward me with her mouth open for kisses. Moments like these when you feel wanted, loved and needed.

Saying good by in the morning and giving her to Grammy. Grammy put's her arms out and she turns and puts her face on my chest. She wants me, she needs me.

At night, when she's upset. I may be upset with her for not sleeping, but when she cries the moment I go into her room and see her in her crib, she stops because everything is all better because mommy is here.

These are the moments that I never want to forget, that I never will forget.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

10 Songs That Make You Sad

For lack of anything else to write about write now, here is my shot at a Meme found here

10 Songs that make me sad

  1. Whiskey Lullaby - Brad Paisley & Alison Krause
  2. Tears In Heaven - Eric Clapton
  3. No One Knows - Kevin Sharp
  4. I Will Remember You - Sarah McLachlan
  5. If Nobody Believed - Joe Nichols
  6. Love Without End, Amen - George Straight (not really classified as a sad song, just makes me think of my relationship with my dad, and makes me sappy sad)
  7. When I Call Your Name - Vince Gill
  8. November Rain - Guns N' Roses
  9. Hello Darlin' - Conway Twitty
  10. He Stopped Loving Her Today - George Jones

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Nightime thoughts

I always do my best blogging at night just before I'm about to fall asleep. I lay there and I dream up a story to tell myself. I get really into the details thinking about how interesting of a story it is and how imaginative I can be at those times.

Last night I lied awake. There was a warm breeze so I opened the bedroom window. The wind was softly blowing our curtains and the air smelled of this muddy springlike smell, with a hint of blooming flowers. The moon cast a soft white color over the backyard and I could hear the stream in our backyard flowing and the frogs chirping. In the distance there was the sound of the train. It's horn blowing through the intersections and the sound of it clinking along though the tracks.
All of this reminded me of my first apartment I lived in alone. Right after my divorce I moved into this town. It was a small and cute apartment with an upstairs bedroom. The first night I was there I lied in my bed awake, much like last night. I remember the air conditioner was running in the window just above my bed, and I could see the street light from the window. When I moved there I had no idea how close the train was. It was about 4am, when I realized the train tracks ran right though the backyard of the apartment building. It took some getting used to, but I much prefer to hear the train off in the distance.

I was also thinking of my daughter last night. She's seven months old today. I was thinking how lucky I am to have her in my life, and how much joy she brings me. She makes me laugh every single day.

Monday, May 7, 2007

WalkAmerica 2007

I participated in the March of Dimes annual Walk America this year. I intend on doing it every year with Lexi. We met up with some of our friends from playgroup and enjoyed the day. I raised a total of $365.00 for the March of Dimes and we really enjoyed the six mile walk. The day was beautiful, only a little brisk wind from time to time. Lexi was wonderfully behaved and even napped for a couple of miles. Afterward we all went to lunch and the babies were so cute sitting at the table together. It was such a nice day and a wonderful experience. I felt a sense of accomplishment and genuine happiness the feeling of doing something that has meaning.

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Getting ready to start

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There was a large crowd, great turnout.

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Walking for Dimes

Monday, May 7, 2007
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Sunday was a great day for a walk as millions of people all over America came out to support the March of Dimes WalkAmerica. Above, hundreds head down Lewiston's Holland Street after the start from Central Maine Medical Center. This weekend's event raised approximately $55,000 toward WalkAmerica's goal of $90,000.

http://www.sunjournal.com/story/211077-3/LewistonAuburn/Walking_for_Dimes/

Friday, May 4, 2007

The sound of a mother

"What are you doing?"
I stated in a stern tone as I'm watching Stephen hold the bathroom door to prevent Becca from coming out.
"Huh?"
"I'm just waiting for Becca to come out." He says.
"Well how is she going to come out if you're holding the door closed?" "Go play!"

It was at that very moment that I realized I've become a mother. Not just in the sense that I have stepchildren and I've given birth to a baby girl, but I actually sound like a mother now.
I've got the tone down correct, and I even say words my mother used to say. The reality hits and it just seems so weird to me sometimes. Me?! A parent? When did I really grow up?

Thursday, May 3, 2007

How Motherhood Makes You Smarter

To anyone that thinks somehow when you become a mother you become a moron, read this article.
How Motherhood Makes You Smarter

I appreciate this article because I can relate to it. When I first came back to work after have Lexi I was in a constant fog. I know that I felt stupid. I couldn't remember minor details of things that I used to be able to do with my eyes closed. I don't think motherhood makes anyone stupid. I know for a while I was just having a hard time being focused on motherhood, and my adult life. Now that six months have passed, things are a lot more clear and I know that I have learned so much more in these past six months, thank I have in a long time.





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Wednesday, May 2, 2007

If anyone would have ever told me how fast time flies when your a mom I would have never believed it.
I keep a video tape in my video recorder to record miscellaneous moments out of Lexi's life. I ran out of tape last night and downloaded it to the computer so that I could start over. It's titled Lexi: The First Six Months.
Looking over it I can not believe that my baby was that tiny. I mean she was so small and tiny and little and itty bitty. She was just a little peanut. Watching the video made me sad because I miss my little sleepy baby. It does make me happy though. In the video I captured, first smiles, and first coos, first laughs, and first walking in the walker. Soon I get to look forward to crawling, first real words, first steps, first birthday. My world is going to be forever filled with firsts and I love it.