Thursday, March 29, 2007

A Letter to the Vending Machine Person

Dear Vending Machine Person,

Are you just messing with me or what? As you may or may not know I have an addiction. My addiction is not one to drugs or alcohol but to chocolate. Oh for the love of chocolate, I would go leaps and bounds just to get my hands on some. I eat some form of chocolate every single day, in fact I truly believe that I could live on chocolate alone. So when I found Milkey Way's in your vending machine I was happy. I deposited my sixty cents and waited. The mechanical arm twisted and turned and down came my Milkey Way. The familiar kerplunk at the bottom told me that it was time to indulge. I reached in and unwrapped the yummy gooey candy bar that was calling my name. As you can see I LOVE Milkey Ways.

Several days pass and each day I make the trip down the hall for my afternoon Milkey Way. One day I arrive in the break room and notice there are no Milkey Ways. Hmm, well OK I'll just get the Butterfinger, not quite a good but better than nothing. Days and days go on and still you have not brought me a Milkey Way, so I continue eating the Butterfingers, until I find that yesterday there were no Butterfingers either. Now I was left with a choice of crackers, Twizzlers, Skittles, Chips, and oh wait, what's that over there. Cupcakes! Oooh even better. The chocolatey goodness of the cupcake with the cream filling. Couldn't get any better. So I spent the seventy five cents and I was happy.

Until today....

You have left me with nothing edible in there. What are you doing to me? No Milkey Way, no Butterfinger, no cupcakes! There is no good chocolate in there. Please help me, before I go over the edge. Please bring back the chocolate!

Sincerely,

The Chocolate Lady

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

WalkAmerica 2007

This year's walk in a neighboring town is May 6th. I've organized a team and we are going to walk the walk this year!

Premature birth is the #1 cause of newborn death. It has reached epidemic proportions in the U.S., endangering the lives of more than half a million babies. And it's growing at an alarming rate. That's why we need you to participate in WalkAmerica.

Every year, half a million babies in the U.S. are born prematurely. Premature birth is the leading cause of newborn death and many life long disabilities. The funds we raise in WalkAmerica support research that saves babies' lives.


I was lucky to give birth to a healthy 39 weeker, but many people have experienced the heartache of a premature baby. You can help too. Find a walk in your area today! Or Sponsor Me.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

My favorite hobbies

This weeks carnival is about hobbies. My favorite hobby is photography. When I was a kid I always loved taking pictures. I remember my first camera, I don't even know what type of camera's those were back then. But it was pink and you stuck film in it that was shaped sort of like eye glasses without the legs. It took about twelve pictures at a time and you would have to crank it after each picture.

Then I got the Polaroid. What fun was that. Instant gratification for the impatient. No longer did I have to wait until my mom went to the grocery store to drop off my film, and then wait even longer for it to be developed, and then wait some more for my mom to go back to the store. I went through Polaroid film like crazy. I would arrange my Barbies, and Trolls and pose them for pictures. I would take picture after picture of our cat, always pleased with my results.

When my birth mother passed away and I was given a collection of her things, I saw that she was also a hobbiest photographer. It was nice to have something in common with a mother I've never met.

Nowadays my subject is Alexandra. I often dress her up and pose her for pictures.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
I don't often get time to go out and take pictures of other things anymore, but I'll always love my photography.
















Create Your Own!





Monday, March 26, 2007

Playgroup fun

This weekend was our first playgroup meetup. It went very smoothly and I am so proud of myself for organizing this. About 8 out of 24 of my members attended which I thought was a very good turn out for the first meeting. Lexi was quite interested in all of the other babies, as shes never been around another baby before. We all sat on the floor and the babies played with their toys and cooed at each other. It was quite cute.
It is interesting being around other babies, and watching their little personalities and seeing how different everyone else is. Lexi is so loud and babbles all the time, while some of the others are quite and laid back. Lexi likes to be the center of attention already, which makes me worry about her toddler years. I keep telling myself with good parenting I will have a well behaved child no matter how strong of a personality she has.
One of the babies has the biggest cheeks, he's quite plump and a little younger than Lexi. His cry was so soft and gentle. Another baby fell asleep and napped right by where everyone was playing. Lexi of course wouldn't have any of that so-called-sleep. She got cranky so I put her in the sling and she fell asleep. When I tried transitioning her to the stroller she would carry on like I was going to kill her. All in all it was a great day. She was pretty well behaved. It was great to meet other moms with children Lexi's age. Everyone was so nice and friendly and I do hope that some long lasting friendships develop.

Friday, March 23, 2007

Oh for the love of carrots



Miss Lexi had carrots for dinner. When I was done feeding her I gave her the spoon. She had quite a good time playing with the spoon in the jar. She gets the idea that the spoon goes in her mouth, she is just not sure how to turn it. She also sat quietly during our dinner eating a teething cookie. The teething cookies are great and she loves them. She's such a big girl.







Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Thirty Things

Tomorrow is my bosses birthday and some time ago she created a list of things she wants to do before she dies. One of those things is milk a cow. Sounds strange, well cause it is but anyway... I decided to take on my own type of list, and you should too. My list isn't going to be a before I die list because some of that may or may not change. So instead I am going to list thirty things I want to do, big or small, before I turn thirty. Then I will have 4 years to work on it. In no particular order...

  1. Go to the top of the Empire State Building
  2. See the Statue of Liberty
  3. Go to Time's Square on New Years Eve
  4. Go to Mardi Gras
  5. Have more children, one maybe two
  6. See the Pacific Ocean
  7. Run a successful playgroup
  8. Learn to drive a motorcycle
  9. Learn to really drive a standard, not just on the highway when I don't have to shift, but drive it all by myself.
  10. Take another continuing education course
  11. Become more involved with my community
  12. Go to a museum, an actually museum none of these so called museums that are here
  13. Learn how to shoot a gun
  14. Go to a real zoo (nothing is Maine is real, small so therefore it can not be real)
  15. Drink expensive champagne
  16. Got over my fear of water
  17. Go to a Broadway play, ok or off Broadway. Maybe just go to the theater in my own town.
  18. Walk in a March of Dimes walk (or something like it)
  19. Try skiing again
  20. Pay off debt
  21. Go white water rafting (in conjunction with #17)
  22. Finish writing this list, that all I've got for now.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Battling Personalities

Dear Alexandra,

One thing that you will learn about me is that I am pretty persistent. Sometimes I think I give up to easily but really I do not. I think that you and I may run into some battles as you are growing up, because I think you have the same personality as I do. Just as I am persistent you are even more so. I just spent two hours trying to get you down for your nap and I've just had to let you cry it out for the first time ever. I was ready to throw myself in incoming traffic but... I didn't. I stuck with it and now you are sleeping alone in your playpen. For how long I don't know.
You've been pretty dependant on your grandmother rocking you to sleep. If I would have given you to her I am sure you would have been out in minutes. She is your security blanket. I tried everything. Our normal routine of relaxing on the couch and then putting you down wasn't working. I fed you, I changed your diaper, I swaddled you. Nothing. So I rocked you, and you scream. I stand with you and you scream. I sit with you, you scream. I lay in our bed with you, you scream. So I figured if you were going to scream anyway you could do it in your playpen. I felt bad but it was that or I was gonna hurt you. Yes I'm sorry I was frustrated, and I let you cry it out. But you're fine. You'll wake up and you'll be just fine. It breaks my heart, you've got tears streaming down your face, you've got snot coming out your nose, you were in a full blown meltdown. All I wanted to do was comfort you but you just wouldn't stop.
You'll never remember that I let you cry it out, and I'm sure that not the last time I'll have to do it, but I wanted to write this right now so you know how terrible I felt today. I'm so annoyed with you, and your just a tiny little baby. It's not your fault, that I know. So I'm relaxing now, taking a deep breath and when you wake, I hope that you and I will both be in a better mood.

Friday, March 16, 2007

Random Thoughts of the Day

Pet Peeve of the day: People who come to my office to give me paperwork and insist on setting it down in front of me, on TOP of what I am working on. Yes I have an inbox but somehow, people refuse to use it.

My Favorite time of the day: First thing in the morning after my shower. I go back upstairs to get dressed and Lexi and Dad are still sleeping. I crawl back into the warm bed and cuddle Lexi for just a few more moments before it is time to go.

Current Obsession: Green tea, with honey.

Lexi things

New thing: Lexi got her walker and loves it. Not because she likes walking, oh no. She only moves about an inch or so at a time and I don't think she even realizes she is moving it. She loves it because she can hang right onto the toy bar and put it in her mouth. She leaves a puddle on the tray. She is so pleased with her self she looks up at mom or dad and squeals with delight. Like "Look what I did!"

Current clothing size: Mostly 6-9 months. She has long arms and long legs, and her 3-6 month outfits are too short in the arms and legs.

Current diaper size: Switching to a size three today!

Favorite toy: Her hands. While she loves to throw her toys across the room, the one thing that wont get away from her is her hands. I love love love it when she gags herself. Mean maybe, but too funny.

Most annoying thing she does: Pinches my arm! When I'm carrying her, she pinches the back of my arm. I have a permanent bruise from her doing that. It' so hard not to get mad at her for it. When deep down inside you wanna pinch her back and say "there how do you like it, you little brat."

Strange funny thing: She can't tell the difference between a toy she can pick up and a picture, such as the pictures on her playmat. She scrapes and scrapes at it with her fingers trying to pick up the picture, its cute.

Sweetest thing: When she looks at me and touches my face. When she smiles at me when I've been gone for a while. When she nestles her face into my neck when it's time for sleep.




Thursday, March 8, 2007

Month Five

Dear Alexandra,


Tomorrow you will turn five months old. I can't believe that you have been in my life for five months. This morning there was an advertisement on TV for the flower show that your dad and I went to last year. I remembered being pregnant last year at this time, and I can't believe that you are here, my child.




You are no officially eating solid food. We tried before, about a month ago and you had zero interest. You would fuss and protest every time we tried so we decided to wait. Now you are doing pretty darn well with it. You are eating rice cereal in the morning and a fruit or veggie in the evening. You recently had pairs and you loved them. I couldn't get the spoon to your mouth fast enough for you. This morning I tried to give you oatmeal, but you gagged. I got scared that you were choking and panicked, so we stopped. Perhaps you just don't like oatmeal. I know I've never been a fan of the texture of it.


You are sitting up on your own, sometimes. You lean forward and support yourself with your hands. If you move you arms then you are sure to fall face flat. It's quite cute. I am amazed when I look at you. I remember when you couldn't grab toys, and now your shoving everything in that tiny mouth of yours. I can't wait until you are fully able to sit on your own, also when you are able to hold the bottle on your own. You can hold the bottle now, but you don't know enough to tip it up to get your milk, and you end up chewing on the nipple. I think you and I will both be happier when you can do some things on your own. You're starting to be so much fun. I love it when I can get you to really laugh out loud like the real baby that you are. Soon they'll be no stopping you.


Wednesday, March 7, 2007

If you don't like something...

Than change it.

I've been in a sour mood lately. I'm going to change it. I mentioned before that I keep telling myself that I'm gonna be happy today and thats that, but usually that doesn't work out for me. I've realized that I'm never happy unless I have a project. Something to keep me occupied, something to keep me distracted and busy. Go to college, done. Get married, done. Have a baby, Done! So I guess I've hit a point where I'm like now what. What am I gonna do with myself besides work and family life, there has always got to be more for me.

I keep bitching that there is nothing to do in Maine, and there are no playgroups, so i've decided to start my own playgroup. Which let me tell you is completly out of character for me! I am not much of a people person, I've never been very good at making friends. But guess what, I'm doing it! I already have 15 members and I am so excited. I hope this gets off the ground and isn't a total flop. So I've immersed myself in promoting my group, finding members and now I'm in search of a location for our meetings. No more self pity, its time to do something.

New and Expecting Parents Meetups

Monday, March 5, 2007

The weekend is in the toilet

I pretty much had a shitty weekend. We had house guests, the baby was fussy, the hubs was gone all day yesterday, the baby was fussy, oh and did I say the baby was fussy?
I took a couple of hours alone on Saturday to go get some artificial UV rays and hang out a wal-mart. I didn't need anything at wal-mart but I didn't want to go home either. The house was full, the baby wasn't in a good mood and I just wanted to run away. I know her fussing problems were probably just because of the change at home with all of our company and stuff but it was horrible. I feel like she doesn't like me. I'm so depressed. I think her grandmother has become a tool for her to take her naps. Her grandmother can rock her for five minutes and then set her down and shes fast asleep. Me, the second I sit in the rocking chair its like I'm torturing the kid. Steve says its because I get frustrated easily when she doesn't sleep, well yeah but I'm not frustrated the second I sit down.
I find myself not knowing what to do with her anymore. She plays here, she plays there, we sit here, we sit there. We talk and read and then we run out of activities and I just want my own space. I can't wait until she's older and can go play by herself.
I've been trying to change my mood, come out of the negativity, thinking maybe that would help, but I just can't yet. I wake up and tell myself this is going to be a good day. I'm not going to be depressed today, but that doesn't work.