Thursday, February 7, 2013

Simple Gestures

Today I discovered how simple gestures of kindness can be completely uplifting. I learned that there are actually nice people who do nice things for no apparent reason. 

Today I was feeling particularly sorry for myself on my way to work, my new job, where I have worked for three months, is not the dream job I had hoped it would be. I'm feeling hugely pregnant and a bit uncomfortable (less than 10 weeks to go!) and I am overly emotional. Lukas told me this morning that a kid called him stupid yesterday and it broke my heart. So... I thought I'd try to make myself feel better with a donut, why not right. 

I stopped at the Dunkin Donuts closest to me on my way to work and ordered an iced coffee and a chocolate frosted donut. When I pulled around to the pick up window, the person said the lady in front of you has paid for your order. 

I was shocked, though I had heard of it, I hadn't realized that people actually did it. I decided it was only right for me to pay for the person in line behind me. 

I drove away, emotional still, but feeling uplifted by the experience. 

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Life Update

I regret that there have been so many things that I could have written about, to look back on and read in the future and I didn't. All of the years that have gone by and all of the things my kids have said and done, I posted it on Facebook instead. At least I managed to update their baby blog books. I have Lexi's completed and printed, I decided to stop at Kindergarten and print the book. Sadly I haven't been updating Luke's book as much or as often. I tend to write many posts all at once and I am sure I've left things out after the fact. I created a printed photo story book for 2012 which I am happy about and I hope to continue doing moving forward. I may even go back and try to do 2011 and prior, but that could get expensive.

I haven't written since 2008 so I feel the need to do some sort of timeline, catch up I guess with where I've been, which could be difficult to remember at this point.

The highlights:

2009: Lukas turned 1 and also took his first steps. Lexi turned 3 started going to preschool.

2010: Lexi started Pre-K in public school and celebrated her 4th birthday. Lukas turned 2. We thought we were going to sell  our house and move to a bigger house, it was an awesome house with tons of bedrooms and lots of character however, things happen and it didn't work out, which I truly believe is for the best. Steve met his two older half-sisters. Oldest step daughter moved in with us, Oldest step daughter moved out.

2011: We took a vacation to Myrtle Beach. Lexi started going to Kindergarten, turned 5 and started sleeping in her own bed, a bitter sweet moment that I look back on now and miss her nightly visits. This was a big year for Lexi with a lot of growth and maturity happening. Lukas turned 3. Oldest step daughter moved in with us.

2012: This year sticks out in my mind as a really good year, of course it was the most recent year and eaisest to remember, though our ups and downs, all turned out well. Lukas celebrated his fourth birthday, and began Pre-K, he had a much easier time than Lexi had and has been enjoying school. Lexi started first grade and turned 6. Middle step daughter moved in with us, oldest step daughter moved out, sorta. I left my job that I had been at since 2007 and started a new job.

There, four years in a nutshell. My life is pretty tame and uninteresting for the most part, but it's mine, I'm as happy as I can be, of course there is always room for improvement.

Monday, March 5, 2012

Back to blogging

I just found my old blog and read nearly every post. I remember how much I really enjoyed blogging, I never felt like work or a task it was just something to do, a great way to pass time an say the things that you just don't really say out loud.

Well I'm sort of all grown up now that I am 30, so I am sure that this blog will take on a different kind of life, or tone I guess you could say. Now that I am a grown up I think I know that you should never post anything that you wouldn't say in public.

One of the reasons I have been entertaining the idea of blogging (does anyone really blog anymore?I don't care I guess) is because I have decided carry a child for another couple. I am going to be a gestational surrogate. Shocking to some, I know. Why am I doing this?

Well there are a few reasons. I love being pregnant, I do, or at least I did the prior two pregnancies I had and I really want to help a couple that cannot have a child of their own any other way. Given that I myself was adopted, I think a lot of people tend to wonder why someone doesn't just adopt. I think that is something I would have said myself prior to having my own children. Because I was lucky enough to have my own children I completely understand why someone would want their own child. Adoption is wonderful and so is surrogacy. I always wanted to adopt a child as a way to pay it forward, as a matter of thanks that I was adopted, but that is just not in the cards for us, at least right now. So instead I will grow a baby for someone else.

I've decided to help a wonderful couple who happen to not have uterus's of their own. I am working with an agency and we're now officially matched. We talked on the phone last week and I thought they were great, we really connected and agreed on the important issues. This past weekend we met in person and I just wanted to put them in my pocket and keep them. I am looking forward to this journey and helping them create life and start their family. The next step is to go through the medical and physiological screening.

There are no guarantees in surrogacy, so I can only hope and do everything in my power to grown them a baby.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

This time again

So it's Christmastime again...
Its been six years since my mom has been gone but Christmas without her still hurts.
After my mom died in August my father and I were cleaning up their apartment a little. Inside a closet I found wrapped presents to me, my father and sister and her boys. She knew she wasn't going to make it to another Christmas and didn't want us to go without, because she was always thinking of us, so she did her shopping and even her wrapping.
It was really heartbreaking and heartwarming to find those presents. My sister didn't even open hers at the time, she needed to cherish that last gift. That was my mother. Always thinking of everyone else, always wanting everyone else to be happy at Christmas.
Last night Lexi was looking at a picture of myself and my mom and dad. When she got to my mom and said who that mommy, I said Memere. She said Hi Memere!
It completely broke my heart.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

A Peanut Butter Thought for the Day

When I arrived at work this morning and sat at my desk, I noticed a small perfectly shaped peanut butter hand print on my left knee. The girl must have rested her hand on my leg as she was giving me good bye kisses this morning.

My boss in her office over heard me telling a co-worker about it, and she said. Cherish the peanut butter now, when you get to be my age you'll be yearning for a little peanut butter hand print.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Three Blind Mice

This morning at 2am I laid my sweet little sleeping boy down in his crib for the second time. Then out of no where my delirous sleep deprived mind started with...

Three blind mice, three blind mice, she how they run, see how they run.

Then it occured to me. That is just not a nice song for little ones... it goes on

They all run after the farmers wife, she cut of their tails with a carving knife... three blind mice.

Huh. Just an observation.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

My favorite holiday

Has always been Halloween. Today at work we decorated our office area. There are spiders hanging from the ceiling and cobwebs all over our desks. Looks kind of spooky. I'm really excited this year because we're going to take Lexi trick-or-treating. Not in the traditional neighborhood, but in the neighborhood at the nursing home I work for. It will be really nice because it will be inside, so no dealing with the weather and the dark. We'll visit the residents and that will make it more like home for them. Older people love kids, well most do anyway in my experience and they always ooh and ahh over babies. This will be Lexi's first Halloween experience. Luke's too but he won't be getting any candy. Lexi is going to be a witch. She will of course be the most beautiful witch you've ever seen. She actually let me put her costume on her the other day and she loved it. Keep your fingers crossed that she doesn't freak out when we get there on Friday.